When it works, it’s silly fun. A running gag about Edward’s music being “sad piano” leads to him literally pushing a grand piano into a lake. Jacob’s constant shirt-ripping is timed with a counter in the corner (up to 47 by the end). When it doesn’t, the film falls back on bodily fluid jokes, racial stereotypes (the one Native American character is reduced to casino references), and cameos that feel dated even in 2010.
The phrase gained mainstream prominence as the title of the 2010 parody film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
These works succeed because they remember the rule: Once you try to pet it and give it a backstory about why it’s sad it bit a surfer, the shark stops being scary. Vampires Suck
Every vampire became a tortured soul who was "cursed" with immortality. We get it. You lost your wife in the plague of 1665. You feel bad about drinking blood. But after a while, the whining becomes insufferable. Audiences began to miss the unapologetic evil of Bela Lugosi’s Dracula or the feral hunger of 30 Days of Night .
Yet Vampires Suck has found a second life as a cult curiosity. For those who endured the Twilight hype but wanted to laugh at it, the film offers a time capsule of 2010’s obsessive fandom. It’s not Young Frankenstein , but it’s also not The Starving Games . It sits in a strange middle ground: too dumb to defend, too energetic to hate completely. When it works, it’s silly fun
The film follows Becca Crane (Jenn Proske), a klutzy teen who moves to the rainy town of Sporks, Washington, and falls for Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), a pale, sparkly vampire who struggles with restraint—not just from her blood, but from her general awkwardness. The love triangle is completed by Jacob White (Chris Riggi), a werewolf whose shirt disintegrates every time he’s on screen.
(a parody of Bella Swan) as she is torn between a moping vampire and a werewolf who can't seem to keep his shirt on. Vampires Suck – review | Comedy films - The Guardian When it doesn’t, the film falls back on
Many horror purists argue that modern vampires "suck" because they have lost their edge.