Date Everything! and our Parasocial Relationships with Things

Because connection is fun. Because empathy is a muscle that needs exercise. And because, sometimes, the vacuum cleaner understands you better than your ex-boyfriend ever did.

Welcome to the philosophy of "Date Everything."

When

The hyphen is an invitation to the player’s imagination. It suggests that the object of your affection hasn't been invented yet, or that the player will discover it in the dusty corner of a virtual attic. It transforms the game from a finite checklist into an infinite spectrum.

That potted plant judging you from the corner? Dateable. The ghost haunting your apartment’s faulty Wi-Fi? Dateable. The sentient toaster that only makes burnt bread? Surprisingly dateable. Your own inner critic? Therapy refuses to help, but romance might.

To date the world means to treat your Tuesday morning commute or your Friday evening grocery run with the same level of engagement. It means striking up a conversation with the barista—not because you want to marry them, but because you want to see them.