There are three types of people in this world: those who have never had a public urination accident, those who lie about never having one, and those of us who have accepted that the human bladder has a sick sense of timing. We have scoured forums, late-night confession booths, and the "I’m never drinking again" group chats to compile the ultimate list of .
“After my second kid, I sneezed while holding a cup of coffee. That’s it. That’s the story. I now do Kegels while reading the news. It’s not funny yet. But give me 10 years.”
Sarah, a marketing executive, walked into the women’s restroom at her office building. It was a high-end establishment with marble floors and heavy doors. She entered a stall, relieved to find it empty. As she sat down, she decided to multi-task and called her husband on her cell phone.
It was not just air.
Arthur performed a slow-motion, majestic slide that ended in a full split right in front of the board members. The impact acted like a human accordion. A small, unmistakable dark patch began to bloom on his khaki trousers.
Allegedly a college student at UC Santa Barbara.
“My three-year-old was ‘too busy’ playing with blocks to use the bathroom. Finally, she runs to the toilet, misses by two feet, and yells, ‘My penis is broken!’ She doesn’t have a penis. We still say that as a family motto.” funny pee stories
Reading this article may cause spontaneous laughter, which is known to put pressure on the bladder. You have been warned.
You think you’re hidden—behind a tree, under a pier, in a dark alley—but you are spectacularly not hidden. A jogger, a child, a police officer, or a deer makes eye contact.
from school or a road trip that you'd like to see added to the "hall of fame"? There are three types of people in this
The bladder is an optimist. The road is a pessimist.
“I laughed at my own joke. That’s the sad part. No one else laughed. But my pelvic floor? It gave a standing ovation.”